Tag Archives: change

T-Minus 11520 Minutes

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Lifes a journey, not a destination

 

I am sitting in probably the only clutter-free spot in our house right now; on our sunshine-yellow couch that will soon be taken away by a stranger. Looking around are boxes full of “must-haves”, the few things we have found important enough to us that they earned a coveted spot in the back of the Expedition for the trip west; the rest will go. It’s beginning to feel a little sad in here.

Only seven short days from now we will be having our going away party with all the people we love here in Beverly, and the following morning, heading west…well south, THEN west :) Since I’ve shared so much of myself in the last year, I want to share a little about Jen BC (Before Crossfit)…

Over the last six years, I have had MANY conversations with my parents about moving to California. It’s a little odd thinking back on it, considering I had never visited California until March of 2010! I just had a feeling that I was supposed to live there; and I’m not talking LA, I’m talking a small-ish coastal beach town where I could learn to surf and be “crunchy”, haha. I am not really either of those things, but really secretly (well maybe not so secretly) want to be, hehe.

So anyway, over and over I would have conversations about moving to Calfornia, all of which NO ONE took seriously. Why not?? Well, I had a litttttttle problem with commiting to goals that I had. I would start a workout regiment, done after a month. I would try a new crazy diet, done after a month. I would talk about moving to California, changed my mind after a couple of months. I wanted to do this for a career, or that for a career, then I would get distracted on to something else. Not super appealing, but I did a lot of it. So, summer of 2009 one of my close friends got transferred from his company here in Massachusetts to the west coast branch in San Luis Obispo, CA. I had a renewed interest in moving out, and thought, HERES MY CHANCE! I’ll know someone, it’s a small beach town, this will be GREAT! Then, I got accepted to a program that I had applied to here in New Hampshire for health education (at least that was consistent, my interest in health!) and decided to stay for that. Just six short days after I was SUPPOSED to pack up and go out west, I met Nick at the Salem Culture Festival. Whoa BABY I would NOT have been happy if I had missed out on THAT one! On our second date, Nick mentioned (not to get ahead of himself of course) that he wanted to eventually go back to California, and asked me if that was something I would be interested in….um, yes PLEASE!

So after much thought, I decided not to do the health ed program (THANK GOD) and decided to stay here, join Crossfit and start eating like a caveman. Yep…those were the best choices I have ever made…and more importantly, STUCK TO!  :) I have learned more about health in the last year than I would have EVER learned in that program, and the two versions of health (the one the school would have taught me, and the one I’ve learned for free here) couldn’t BE more different!

So here I am, a year and a half later, heading for California anyway…a place that I truly have always felt is where I belong…don’t ask me why! Things are really starting to fall into place for our future practice, right down to the font on our logo! Last week I spent three days in the office with Nick and got to see the office, how it flows, how it thrives and how it functions! It was INCREDIBLE! I have struggled a bit with being “just a C.A.” for a little bit now…and for you C.A.’s (chiropractic assistants) out there reading this, please don’t take offense…I knew nothing! See, I was a receptionist for the last three years, and I had no interest in moving across the country to continue doing that…and I was constantly hearing comments like “oh so you’re going to be Nick’s receptionist?” While I felt that it was going to be more than that, I really didn’t have the information to say otherwise. Well guess what…one of probably the most valuable things I learned while I was in the office with Nick was that it is NOT a receptionist job…wow! Honestly, the C.A. is like a conductor for an orchestra, or a stage manager for a play…Nick MAY be the star of the show, but the conductor or stage manager is JUST as important in making sure everything goes smoothly and stays on course. There were so many little tiny details that the girls covered that the doctors never even had to think about, so that all of their energy could go toward giving the best possible care to their patients. To top it all off, I get to be the ambassador of first impressions for all our future patients! :-D ..and get to play with the kids and hold babies…just another perk :)

I am SO excited to start this important career.

So, starting next week, I will keep you all posted on our journey, with the cool things we do and see along the way, and of course a few handstand pictures as well :) :) I love and appreciate you ALL, and hope you had the best holiday yet :)

Much love,

Jen

First Morning Light

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Morning light: the best light there is

Life is so much easier, and sweeter, when you give yourself a little time.

Last night I attended Doctor Stephen Franson’s ”Spark Your Life” workshop. I learned about prioritizing my life, finding my purpose and setting goals. While I have yet to sit down and really dig into the “homework”, on the drive home Nick and I started talking about immediate changes we could make that would make our days a little easier.

As it is now, our mornings look a little like this: Nick gets up at around 5:15-5:30am, starts breakfast, makes coffee, reads a little bit, then comes and wakes me up. We eat breakfast, and have just enough time to talk while we eat, get a kiss in and he’s out the door. This rushing wasn’t ideal for what Nick wanted in his morning…So, after the workshop last night, I started thinking about our mornings. I LOVE the way I feel when I get up early, eat slowly, drink coffee while I chat with my mom, get the dishes done, and get to walk leisurely to the train. So, I suggested I wake up at 5 with him, he reads and drinks his coffee, I cook (I’ve really been LOVING cooking lately!! soooo decompressing!!), when breakfast is ready we eat, and sit and chat for a bit before having to go on with our day.

Let me tell you…this made a difference, HUGE difference!!! This morning had less stress, and with less stress there are more smiles…and with more smiles comes more hugs and kisses….who WOULDN’T want to start their day that way?! You start the day off at peace, relaxed, and completely content!

So, try this with me guys…as Doc said last night, it takes 21 days to form a habit. Maybe we can chip away at changing our habits for the better, one habit at a time together! Maybe we can start by waking up earlier for the next 21 days…trust me…if feels amazing when you feel like you have a life outside of getting ready for work, going to work, working, coming home from work, exercising, cooking, eating, bed….

The best is when you get to work and feel like you’ve already really LIVED today :) Let someone wonder why you’re so dang smiley at 9am :) It’s fun :)  

Have a great night :-D  xoxo

A More…Shall We Say…ARTICULATE Version?

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Sometimes its fun to go back and read some of the old things you have wrote; whether you are unpacking an attic and come across an old journal, or you flip back to some of the first blog posts you have ever written…its all fun, and educational. Without this documentation of our old selves, it’s nearly impossible to really remember who we were while undergoing change.

Last night I was asked to do a video testimonial for the Bonfire health program. The principles that Bonfire is based upon are the lifestyle choices I have been making for the last year (directly due to the fact that I have learned these principles from the same group of amazing people who created Bonfire and loved ones around me who follow it as well). I panicked all day long. I panicked that I literally had NOTHING to say…I was so nervous to have to speak about my life into a camera. Funny huh, since I write about my life, and talk about these changes nearly every single day on here to YOU! I didn’t, however, have a big stories of ONE BIG THING that has changed…and I only had a few minutes to sum up how I feel Bonfire has helped me, and why it is SO amazing. Well, since I panicked while the bright lights were shining on my face, and Doc was looking at me with kind eyes waiting for a response….I didn’t say a single thing I had planned on saying. I had practiced in my head all day…then I froze. So, to redeem myself, and spread the word now, in the way I had intended; here it is.

Doc: Jen, how do you feel that Bonfire has improved your life?

Jen: Oh man…how has it NOT improved my life? Well, I am not the same person I was a year ago. I actually uttered the words “I only did 63 pull-ups” the other night at a workout! ONLY 63! HA! If ONLY my old self could hear me say that!

To just list a few things that Bonfire (and the Paleo diet, Crossfit, positive thinking, Nicholas Araza :) ) has done for my life…

-I have FINALLY stopped counting calories! I have been looking for that solve-all solution to my weight my WHOLE LIFE! I’m not even kidding about this, I bought my first healthy eating/exercise book in the 4th grade. I have tried the raw food diet, I have even tried weight-watchers… While I did lose weight on these “diets”, I couldn’t stick to them; so the weight came back, and sometimes in spades. Now, I just eat till I’m full! I don’t need to count calories because all the foods I eat are GOOD for me! I know that I need to cool it a little on the nuts and fruits, and bulk up more on the veggies, and within that guide, I am a free woman!

-I went from being a carboholic, to a “stay away from grains” kind of gal! Here is a run down of what a typical day for me looked like before: bagel for breakfast, with a coffee of course; pasta or a sandwich for lunch (sometimes with a Pepsi!! eeeek!!), and whole wheat spaghetti with veggie sauce, and a big ole’ glass of milk for dinner (I lived alone! It was easier…blah blah blah!). Yeah…everything was grains and dairy…where the HECK were the veggies? Now, no grains, and the only dairy I ever have is the little splash in my coffee.

-I have lost 10% of my body fat! I went from about 3o-ish% down to 20-22%!!

-I STRUGGGGGGGLED to do a pushup on my knees before, now I can do about 3 consecutive pushups on my toes!

-I say things like “I only did 63 pullups tonight…thats not THAT much!”

-Instead of saying stuff like “I SUCK at this…” I remember to say “I’m not good at this yet…” or “I presently struggle with…”

-I am so much more committed! I start things and STICK to them! Such a difference, and a WELCOME difference in my life!

Honestly though, Doc, one of the biggest differences for me with this program, from all the other programs…is the community. I have tried other diets, like I said, I have tried other exercise regimes (never for longer than a month)…but nothing stuck. I did not have you guys. I did not have the encouragement, the support, the love that I have here. I know that there are other online programs that offer support, but this is different. The community literally seaps out of your computer into your world, going much more beyond the webpage… These people have become my friends, my little family away from home :) They offer strength when I need it, encouragement always, a good swift verbal whooping sometimes when I’m feeling like I can’t do something, and a good healthy dose of social pressure to keep me in line.

If I could offer one piece of advice to anyone thinking of partaking in Bonfire Health it would be, just do it. Do EVERYTHING they tell you to do. Trust me, it WILL work…and not just a little bit…it’ll change your life :) “

Thank you to all you amazing people in my life that have supported my growth, and loved me all the more for it :) When you’re going through a dramatic change, and people in your life think you have just gone mad, it’s amazing and comforting to have people who are working on and going through those changes too, WITH YOU. It makes the “mad/crazy/nuts” in all of us, seem oh so normal! I LOVE YOU!

“Be the change you want to see…”

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Over the course of the last ALMOST 2 months, I have spoke with you a lot about changing habits for the better…permanantly! This was something that has been a struggle for me my whole life. I think I tried every diet under the sun, I started and stopped exercise routines soooo many times…and as soon as the going got hard in relationships, I ran instead of staying and working on it. Healthy? No…but it happens to more people than you know, more OFTEN than you know. How many people do you think you know that have started and stopped a healthy routine? Yeah! Almost everyone right?

I can honestly say that as far as food goes, I get it now. I believe I have a handle on it because I OWN the consequences of what will happen to me if I DON’T eat this way. As far as exercise, I do get it EXPONENTIALLY more than I used to. There are, without a doubt, still days where the last thing in the world I want to do is exercise. However, I also know that when I feel this way, and I suck it up and go anyway, I ALWAYS am so grateful that I did.

My only real struggle, thankfully, is down to the thinking part. I still get down on myself about things I shouldn’t..I have fears that I shouldn’t have…I worry more than I should. I believe I’m a pretty positive person…but I also know that “Think Well” is my largest struggle. I’m constantly talking about making a lasting change in our health, our wellness lifestyle…this is not a diet..this is not temporary..this is my LIFESTYLE. Well, its time that I make the THINK WELL part of my life my priority and get that going in the right direction.

That which we persist in doing becomes easier, not that the task itself has become easier, but that our ability to perform it has improved.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson

I am a huge nerd, and I love to read about articles or letters from people who are experiencing the same thing as me. I found an article about making profound and lasting change in your life. Now whatever that struggle may be for you: losing weight in a healthy manner, being unable to get up early like you want so you can go for a run in the morning, having a difficult time trusting again, wanting to quit an addiction, wanting to go back to school, etc; you can plug these struggles into this article.

The article mentions how there are 3 building blocks that we need to first realize before we can make any change. These are the basic tools we need to make lasting change.

1. Mental Chatter

Our mental chatter is the internal dialog that is going on in our heads at all times. Our thoughts run an endless stream from the moment we wake up to the moment we go to bed. Thoughts are flowing through your mind right now as you read this. What is she talking about? That’s a tall order they’re claiming, isn’t it? Gosh, what am I going have for dinner?

Sometimes our mental chatter is so loud that it prevents us from sleeping. It has been with us and apart of our lives for so long, that we have learned to ignore it. However, what we don’t realize is that our mental chatter and mental models are what we use to create our lives.

We think that we are given a set of things that is our reality, but that is not really the case. We construct it with our mental chatter. Much of the time, we are building it without knowing that this is what we are doing.

Be aware that we have mental chatter and recognize that the voice in our head is not us. Our mental chatter often works against us and is highly dysfunctional. This is the voice that talks down to us, challenges our self-esteem and is the source that limits our infinite potential.

Perception is MUCH different than reality at times.

An example of this would be someone with an eating disorder looking in the mirror. He/she is seeing something MUCH different than the reality, the mental chatter won’t stop telling him/her that she looks fat or horrible, when perhaps in reality he/she is becoming extremely thin and frail. Or, this is often the voice in your head at 5am that is saying you don’t really NEED to get up to go for a run…that you can go tonight. Do you EVER actually go that night??? Sometimes…but most of the time that voice talks you into waiting till the next morning to do that run. JUST DO IT!

2. Mental Models

A mental model is our belief of how the world works. We say, this is the way the world works. Mental models can be very useful because they simplify our lives and save us mental energy. Each of us has many mental models. For example, we have mental models for how to find a date; mental models for how to pick a movie; mental models for how to find a good restaurant.

The problem is not that we have mental models, but that we don’t recognize we have mental models. We think this is how the world works. But, this is not how the world works; this is our perception of how the world works, built in our mind.

The interesting thing about mental models is that the moment we have a mental model defined, the universe cooperates and gives you enough evidence that this is in fact the way it is working. You notice and take account of the positive evidence, and make excuses when evidence does not fit your model.

Every time you find yourself unhappy with something in your life, you can always trace it back to one or more mental models which are not serving you very well.

I love this one. I feel so often that we develop fears, or reasons for not doing something because of things that have happened in the past. We tend to think that this is the way it is, and this is the way it will always be. We forget that every situation, every person is new and different, and that we cannot assume or judge that this situation or this person will be like those in the past. For instance: Trust immediately comes to mind in this. Let’s say in the past you had a bad experience, or multiple bad experiences even, where people you loved, friends and lovers, betrayed you. Due to these mental models that you have built up over the years, you lose the ability to trust ANYONE with your heart, and distance yourself from the ability to let people in. Lonely… It’s important to let go in this case…remember that the past is the past…the people that hurt you also got you to where you are to this day. As one of my good friends once told me, think of those experiences as a gift…not a burden.

3. Me-Centered Universe

Most of us have a habit of living in a Me Centered Universe. We interpret everything that happens in terms of, What impact does it have on me?

For example, If our spouse gets a new job, we instantly think of how we can benefit from it. If our kids were to drop out of school, we instantly think of what our neighbors and friends will think of me?

It’s worthwhile to take a moment to think about this. How much of the time do you live in a Me Centered Universe? Where regardless of what happens, the first thing we think about is in terms of What is its impact on me?

If you spend a dominate amount of time in the Me Centered Universe, you are guaranteed to find more than your share of frustrations, of pain, of suffering, of life sucks. They come with the territory of being in a Me Centered Universe.

The only way you can live a completely fulfilled life is to design your life such that what you are doing aligns with something which will bring greater good to a greater community. You are the one who gets to define what the greater good means and what the greater community means.

The good news is that once you recognize this, it is not that hard to make a shift.

This greater good could be ANYTHING! It could be that you get your ass out

Don't you want this for YOUR future? So do they...do it for them!

of bed in the morning because you’ve decided its IMPORTANT to your FAMILY that you’re healthy…take the focus off yourself. Stop thinking, but I would realllly love to sleep in a little bit longer, I’m so tired. Start thinking, I want to be sexy when I’m seventy, and that’s never going to happen if I keep allowing myself to hit that snooze button. Or, my friend is counting on me to meet them at the gym. Or, my husband and children want me to live a long, healthy life…I need to do this for them. Even if you’re doing it for you…take the pressure from you, and give it a greater cause!

What I’m learning is the our minds are RIDICULOUSLY powerful. I’ve learned that if you want to see the shit in life, it’s there to find. If you want to see the beauty, the love, the greatness of life…it’s there…every single day. On Nick and I’s 8 hour drive back from the ‘Bou, we were listening to an audio tape. The guy, whose name I can’t remember, said that love is all around you all the time. Love is a constant yin and yang. When you receive a compliment that brings you way up, there is always someone (even if it’s just someone on the side of the road) that will bring you down, just to keep you humble. He was saying that is love. While I find it a TAD bit funny, and maybe a little out there…I can see it in some respects for sure! When it comes to those in your life closest to you, the ones that truly love you; who’s the person that tells you that you’re being a litttttle pompous when you’re thinking a little too highly of yourself? The ones who love you. Who is there to tell you that you’re amazing, and intelligent, and incredible in every way when you’re feeling like the world is against you? The ones who love you. There is a constant give and take there, that is love.

Where the heck was I GOING with that? HAHA.  Oh yeah! I was talking about the power of thought, haha. It ALL in our perception…how we want to see it. I truly believe that once you are able to adjust that, you can change your world…quite literally.

Steps for Altering Your Reality: An Exercise

Try this simple yet powerful exercise. You can do this in a group of 2 or 3, or you can do it on your own.

  1. Articulate a reality - In your life, you have something of concern to you, right now. Around this concern, you have crafted a reality. You say, this is what it is. Now, articulate this reality. Write it down if you are working on your own. Every detail and every assumption.
  2. Craft an alternative reality – Come up with a possible alternative reality. This alternative reality must meet two criteria:
    1. It has to be better than the one you were describing, the one you are presently using.
    2. It has to be a reality that you can plausibly believe, on some level.
  3. Start living as if your alternative reality were THE reality – when you start to do this, you will find two things happening:
    1. You will get lots of evidence saying: it’s not working. It’s not working. I guarantee you will. Just ignore that. Remember? Your mind is not you.
    2. You will get lots of evidence saying: It’s working! It’s working! – Recognize and celebrate it.
  4. Write it down – When you get evidence that it is working, do more than celebrating it. Make sure you record it down. Write it down. This is a very important step. There will be a natural laziness that comes into play whispering in your ears that you will remember it. But you won’t remember. Make sure to carry a note book or notepad with you at all times.

If you consistently write down evidence that your alternative reality is working, you will find over time that, as you review your words, there is a shift happening. Slowly, your alternative reality becomes your new reality. You will find that your life has changed, for the better. And that you are living in a different reality than the one you were in before.

When we craft a statement that says this is where we are and we are stuck here. What we are doing is expressing the reality of our lives. The thing to recognize here is: It is a reality, but we treat it as if it is the reality.

Once we define our lives as Yes, I can do all these things. Then suddenly, ways will be shown to you such that you can do it.

This alternative reality exercise is very powerful, because it can get you out of the straight jacket that you’ve put on. Over time, it’s not just an exercise anymore, but it becomes who you are.

The next time I’m feeling like I’m stuck…I’m really going to try this!! You should too!! We have the power to change our lives… SOOOOO what the HECK are we waiting for?!?!?!